(Expletives NOT deleted!)

Snow and cold have left, so to the woods we go,

Enjoying Nature’s free beauty. Ah! You think so.

It’s not free I say, a price is built right in:

Love Mother Nature and you pay through the skin.

Sensation checked out proves real quick

It's an ugly parasite--a blood sucking tick!

If we carefully extract 'fore it locks on tight,

Only sleep's lost. (Could that new tickle bite?)

But if, senses dulled, we drop our guard,

Wages of neglect may come down hard.

For this could be THE one of a bunch,

That gives Lyme in exchange for its lunch.

Or, at the very least, makes an ugly sore,

That itches, partly heals, itches some more.

In time, tick populations become less thick,

But don’t be fooled my friend -- it’s a dirty trick.

As spring advances, year turns to summer,

There's more grief in store -- what a bummer!

Pesky mosquitos, gnats, biting flies,

Care not a whit for your ouches and cries!

And hiding on the trailside grasses--

Chiggers latch to whatever passes.

Bright red, or like black pepper fine,

Just itching to bite your’s and mine.

Sneak through your socks, climb to the waist,

Spit on your dermis, turn it to paste,

Lick it like Fido taking gravy from a plate.

That's unpleasant? This next you’ll hate:

Acidified saliva makes one hell of an itch:

You wanna vaporize the little son of a bitch!

Ten times bigger, you could pinch this critter.

But ten times the itch? Godawful to consider!

Best you can do is claw, curse and scratch,

Put medicated ointment on raw, welty patch,

Bow humbly to your knees and beg and pray

You never again forget the damn bug spray!

"How long?" you ask, question quite sober.

Well Sir, I’ll tell you: sometime in October;

When Nature’s breath, all frosty and cold,

Freezes their little butts and turns them to mold.

So listen to me! Take this hard earned advice:

Play in the woods when Nature’s nice.

Tell your friends and all known cohorts,

"Damn the nasty boys! Do winter sports!"

R. Leland Waldrip